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(say-jean)

It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s the sound I heard when I was 9 and my father slammed the front door so hard behind him I swear to god it shook the whole house. For the next 3 years I watched my mother break her teeth on vodka bottles. I think she stopped breathing when he left. I think part of her died. I think he took her heart with him when he walked out. Her chest is empty, just a shattered mess or cracked ribs and depression pills.

It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s all the blood in the sink. It’s the night that I spent 12 hours in the emergency room waiting to see if my sister was going to be okay, after the boy she loved, told her he didn’t love her anymore. It’s the crying, and the fluorescent lights, and white sneakers and pale faces and shaky breaths and blood. So much blood.

It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s the time that I had to stay up for two days straight with my best friend while she cried and shrieked and threw up on my bedroom floor because her boyfriend fucked his ex. I swear to god she still has tear streaks stained onto her cheeks. I think when you love someone, it never really goes away.

It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s the six weeks we had a substitute in English because our teacher was getting divorced and couldn’t handle getting out of bed. When she came back was smiling. But her hands shook so hard when she held her coffee, you could see that something was broken inside. And sometimes when things break, you can’t fix them. Nothing ever goes back to how it was. I got an A in English that year. I think her head was always spinning too hard to read any essays.

It’s not that I don’t love you. It’s that I do.

- It’s not that I don’t love you.  (via extrasad)

(via wildchilddixon)


lemme-holla-at-you:

http://lemme-holla-at-you.tumblr.com/
hplyrikz:

Clear your mind here
hplyrikz:

Clear your mind here
kushandwizdom:

Good Vibes HERE
I’d much rather be someone’s shot of whiskey than everyone’s cup of tea.
- Carrie Bradshaw (via luckisforsuckerss). (via gaixoa)

(Source: gluh-birne, via jheneaiko)


You could be the ripest, juiciest peach in the world, and there’s still going to be somebody who hates peaches.
- Dita Von Teese (via ellemvecchio)

(via jheneaiko)


Do not try to be pretty. You weren’t meant to be pretty; you were meant to burn down the earth and graffiti the sky. Don’t let anyone ever simplify you to just “pretty.”
- Things I Wish My Mother Had Taught Me | d.a.s    (via thatkindofwoman)

(via livelifetoyafullest)


stay true

frankocean:

mind is pretty blank right now. i’m sitting in my kitchen listening to age of consent by new order. i like this song.. i fuck with that gwen stefani song ‘cool’ too, i never knew 3000 played keyboards on it- sounds like some teen coming of age movie. i used my birthday week pass to stay in my…


stunningpicture:

This dog just came into the animal hospital I work at because he ate a dozen pot brownies…
shez-a-bitch:

http://soeffingxtraordinary.tumblr.com